


My Claws

by Katzatnite57



Series: The legend of Beacon Hills [1]
Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Magic, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Panic Attacks, Physical Pain, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers, Triggers, alternative universe, possible triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-02-28 00:17:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2711990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katzatnite57/pseuds/Katzatnite57
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world of Beacon Hills was one of disaster, chaos and worse. That was before the pack. Now it is a world of disaster, chaos and... hope. Nothing will be the same ever again for our heroes but, maybe they don't want it to be the way it was. Maybe they want to stay in this world. Maybe...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stiles Stilinski

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for wanting to read this, I really do appreciate it even if you're just looking. This FanFiction was written with alterations to season 2 and 3 and continues on after season 3. The changes might not be clear to begin with but will be by the end. This project is being written as I go so if there is anything you want to see please let me know. Also, does anyone know if I can change the tags later on because I will add and subtract characters as I go.

                “Stiles!” My dad called from down stairs.

                “He’s not here.” I replied trying to gain a few more vital seconds of sleep.

                “Too bad, I guess he’ll miss out on his blueberry pancakes.”

                “I hate you.” I called as I got up succumbing to the Stilinski charm.

                “Not yet.” My dad taunted.

I got up and brushed my teeth when I started looking at myself in the mirror, like I do every day to satisfy my ego. My somewhat defined muscles and flat stomach make me want to be a werewolf. I’ve always heard that they have great abs. My brown eyes scrutinise my moles but overall I am happy that I'm not getting any fatter with all the junk food Scott’s been bringing over lately. I got changed into some skinny jeans, a somewhat clean shirt and grabbed my bag as he walked out to the hallway.

                “Stiles!” My dad called again.

                “Coming!” I replied taking the stairs two at a time.

When I got to the kitchen I am amazed that dad hasn’t burnt the pancakes to death, yet

                “Congrats dad.” I said offering a hug. “You didn’t kill breakfast.”

                “I wouldn’t push your luck. Scott’s not here to save you from me today.” My father threatened as he pushed me away from the hug.

               “Sorry, I’ve gotta go to school early today. No time for your threats.” I said grabbing a pancake and rushing out the door.

 

My Jeep is ancient and unreliable but I won’t change it for anything. It’s blue, rusting and breaking but I love it. I drove for five minutes before reaching Scott’s house.

                “Scott.” I said from the car knowing Scott could hear me.

Scott rushed out the door with his bag over his shoulder and moving much faster than I had anticipated.

                “Drive! Drive!” He yelled as he got closer to the car.

                “Scott!” Melissa called from the door frame. “Get back here now!” At her words I turned off the engine.

                “Traitor.” Scott accused with narrow eyes.

                “Screw you she’s scary.” I defended trying to not look Melissa in the eyes.

                “Now!” She demanded from the frame.

Scott has tanned skin, is about five nine and has a fairly muscular build. His hair is a dark brown while his eyes are a warming brown. His mother is similar. Her skin is slightly darker and her eyes are enchanting. Her body is, even at her age, fairly young.

Melissa is Scott’s mother and is more than often far scarier than Peter could even wish to be. How our parents hadn’t gotten together is still a conundrum to me and Scott.

 

I couldn’t hear what was being said but I could almost feel the discomfort coming off Scott as his mother kept talking. So I honked his horn and turned the car on to tell them to speed up and to try and rescue Scott. Melissa knew this ploy and eyed me suspiciously without stopping her rant.

When Scott turned around I could practically see the hate emanating from him. That means one thing.

                “He wants to talk to me.” Scott said when they started driving to school.

I knew he was talking about Rafe. Rafael is Scott’s dad although he doesn’t want him to be. He left years ago and never said why, he was just gone and Scott was, well, not really affected. His grades actually improved, much to Melissa’s surprise. In actual, his focus was on school to keep himself distracted from missing his father. I had worked it out from his increasingly short temper and loud outbursts. He quickly became the nicest person to everyone trying to become the opposite of his father (his own version of his father anyway).

                “Do you want to talk to him?” I knew the answer was 'No.' but I also know that Scott needs to talk about it with someone.

                “No.” Scott replied simply. “I don’t and you know me well enough to know that.”

We sat in an uncomfortable silence until we reached a street by the school. I wanted to say everything that crossed my mind but then I remembered a few things so I stopped myself.

 

This term at School I want to focus on school and not have to deal with every supernatural creature that walks into town. I need to get my grades back up and I need to get the Nogitsune out of my mind.

The others know and it really annoys me that they are trying to fix me like I’m the broken one. I’ve tried avoiding them and talking to them and everything else I could think of but they just won’t let it rest. My last resort is to stop being present in some of the pack meetings. I haven’t resorted to it yet because I want to give them one more chance. Today is that chance before it goes into effect.

                “Scott. I don’t want you guys to talk about the Nogitsune anymore okay.” I said. It was cold, emotionless but Scot could always see right through me.

He sighed then looked up at me, “We just want to know you’re okay Stiles.” He says that so often that I think it's his catchphrase. I decided to tell him my plan.

                “If you guys don’t drop it I think I’ll pull away from the pack. I’ll do what I’ve always done but from a distance.” I said. I knew it hurt and shocked Scott but I had to say it. I had to keep the topic away from me so it didn't hurt me any more than it already was.

 

The rest of the journey was in silence as Scott tried to think of a way to help me, as if I needed help, yet keep me close.

The others were waiting outside the school for us.

                “You go and tell them then signal back to me. I want this to be quick.” I said trying to keep my emotions at bay so I could do this without crying or lashing out at them, again.

Scott, wordlessly, got out and told them. Scott signalled back but I hesitated, they were talking for so long that they might have tried to come up with something. I pushed the thought away and got out of the car.

                “Hey guys.” I said trying to be positive but failed as the others just stared at him like a wounded animal. “Stop staring at me like that.” I demanded. “I’ll give you guys today to get used to it, if any of you speak about it I’m out.”

They looked to the ground and then looked up with confusion, anger and regret laced in large doses on their faces. My stare held until the bell rang forcing away the silence as I dragged them to the front doors.

It was refreshing that none of them fought the change but I couldn’t help but be reserved.

 

The first class was English and I threw away my thoughts of focusing on school because my teacher was just  _so boring_. I thought nothing could be so bland, yet, there it was, something blander than water. Colourless, flavourless water had less monotony than this teacher. Her voice was just as monotonous as Mr Harris’s used to be. I quickly dispelled my thoughts of my old biology teacher and the way the Darach sacrificed him.

Next was Math, which was somewhat interesting and kept my attention. Before lunch was Econ. And boy did it suck. Coach Finstock was just as loud and obnoxious as always, but on top of it was concern. That was worse than the pack’s concern for me. Coach Finstock, the man who detested Greenberg, was concerned for me and my sanity. It was… refreshing (for lack of a better word). I didn’t really know he had a different setting than coach, but there it was. He became humane and was concerned about me. Of course this just added to my hatred of the man, but it was… nice, in an odd and concerning way, but still nice. Then he threatened my grades if I didn’t show up to practise. I guess you can’t have everything.

At lunch I sat with the pack but they weren’t really talkative. The few conversations they did have just floated around me, hoping it wouldn’t set me off, which made me even angrier. Did they really think talking about lacrosse was going to make me walk away from them?

                “Lydia, can you send me a copy of the translated bestiary? I need to make sure I’m prepared to do research on the fly.” I asked. The others turned to me looking as if a bomb was set to explode beneath their feet.

Before Scott could stop her Malia asked, “I thought you didn’t want us to talk about the supernatural around you anymore?”

                “No. I don’t want you all treating me like a kicked puppy because of the Nogitsune. The supernatural is fine as long as you stay away from that particular topic.” I answered and immediately shooting a disappointed look towards Scott, “What did you tell them?” The question had more vehemence than I intended but it got him talking.

                “I told them to not talk about the supernatural because I thought you wanted to focus on school.” He replied shame crossing over his face. Kira gave him a sympathetic look before her gaze returned to me.

                “I do, but it doesn’t mean we have to skip around trying to be normal again. Don’t you remember how boring that was?” It was a loaded question, I know, but he had to answer and show the others how to respond and look on the bright side.

I thought about what Allison or Isaac would have said at that point but that made me depressed. The others must have sensed it because they gave him a few worried glances before going back to normal expressions.

                “I remember those nights when we went out because you heard something on your dad’s radio scanner.” Scott replied with a goofy smile on his face. It was moments like these that he actually looked like a puppy than a vicious wolf ready to take down several homicidal maniacs at a time.

                “Yeah, Remember that time we went to… that place.” I said quickly remembering where we were and who could be listening.

                “Yeah, That was an um… interesting night.” Scott coughed out as his smile widened and his ears went red.

I raised my arms in victory. “Pay up bitches.” I demanded looking at Lydia and Malia. They reluctantly handed him twenty bucks each.

                “What was that for?” Scott asked looking between the three with confusion mixed with anger on his face.

                “I bet them I could make you blush before the end of this term. You shouldn’t bet like that when it comes to Scott. I know how to push _all_ of his buttons.” I said, proud with myself. "Even some I wish I didn't know he had." I recoiled and a shiver went up my spine. The others laughed as Scott gained a proud but undeniably angry look on his face.

                “There are some things I just don’t want to know.” Derek said as he creped the everlasting hell out of them all.

                “Not to be a stick in the mud but this is school and you’ve been wanted for murder, twice.” I pointed out blandly. I always find that I need to control myself around Derek, mostly because he creeps the hell out of me all the time, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s something else. It may also be because he scares me out of my skin some times. That must be it.

                “And whose fault is that again?” He had a point. “Besides, I need to ask a favour, of _Stiles_.” He said disdainfully.

I shivered in my seat at the thought of Derek needing something from me. Although, he does owe me favours for saving his life two times so maybe I can call on them to save me. No. If he’s coming to me then it must be something only I can do.

                “ _Sure._ What do you need?” I asked. The words felt unfamiliar in my mouth as I forced them out.

                “ _In private_.” He said through bared teeth looking angrier and more uncomfortable by the second.

I sighed but followed him into an empty room. I still have no idea why though.

                “So, what is it Derek?” I asked looking around the room. Until my eyes hit Derek removing his shirt. I quickly looked away and flailed my arms arounf to exadurate my point. “Why are you taking off your clothes?”

                “I need you to answer me as to why the scratch you gave me a few days ago won’t go away.” He said with vehemence.

I thought back a few days ago to when Derek came into my room, scaring me half to death considering it was midnight and I was watching Alien. I accidently scratched at him and got him in the back. I didn’t think anything of it.

                “I don’t know, you’re a werewolf, you figure it out. Now, please, put your shirt back on.” I pleaded still thinking back to that night. He never did tell me why he was there. “Also, why did you come over a few days ago?”

                “I felt something wrong with my connection to you.” He answered as he slid his shirt back on. “It seems our little human, might not be so human.”


	2. I'm a What?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles learns something that shatters his life forever. How will the others react? Who will be there for him? Why does this all happen to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading what I posted. Please comment if you want anything at all. I am completely open to suggestions. Also if you see any grammatical issues please point them out. I also would like to thank the four people that gave me some Kudos, I really appreciate it.
> 
> Please enjoy!

                “No! No no no no no no! I am human, always have been, always will be.” I protested.

My entire world, everything I know, everything that matters to me is suddenly gone. Everything I thought I could possibly know about myself doesn’t matter anymore. And this time it isn’t because of some creature possessing me and making me kill people and _like_ it, this time it’s all on me. This time I am a creature that I don’t even know about. I am the one taking my own free will and crushing it.

                “I’m human. I’m human. I’m human.” I wish that if I keep saying it, it’ll make it true. But it doesn’t. I’m _not_ human anymore. I’m something else. And it scares me.

                “Stiles! Stiles listen to me. Come on Stiles, breathe with me.” Derek says over my shoulder.

Suddenly I’m on the ground, barely breathing sitting with my knees to my face and my arms wrapped around them. No, there are two pairs of arms wrapped around my legs. One set of flimsy, uselessly weak arms and one set of arms from an Adonis. They must be Derek’s.

I can barely feel my arms but I can feel my chest being crushed by some unknown force that isn’t me. My chest is barely moving but Derek’s is heaving with a steady rhythm. I try to focus on his breathing, to let my breaths match his. Slowly I start to feel things again like Derek’s warming breaths on my back and his loving arms around me. Of course I also feel his knees digging into my side, but that is of little consequence when one is content.

I can’t believe what I’m thinking! It must be a lack of oxygen. I quickly break Derek’s hold of me when I get back to a semi-stable condition. The pressure in my chest gets worse but I’ll live.

                “Thanks.” I choked out as my breathing and heart rate return to normal.

                “I thought I’d brush up on how to handle panic attacks a while back, just in case. I never thought the information would be useful though.” Derek said trying to change the subject. I let him because it means I won’t have to focus on the fact that _I’m not human_!

Seconds later Scott rushes through the door and is at my side instantly.

                “Are you okay? I kept my hearing on your heart beat so I didn’t hear what was being said. Are you okay? I thought you were having a panic attack.” The words just keep coming from his mouth. He’ll run out of breath eventually. “What did you say to him to make him have a panic attack? If you do that again I’ll have Deaton trap you in a mountain ash prison until Stiles wants you out.” As soon as the last word left his mouth I forced my mouth to cooperate and let me speak so I could calm Scott down.

                “I’m fine now. I triggered my own panic attack. Derek helped me recover so show some gratitude while I think of a way to repay him.” The words seemed coherent in my head but I fear they were nothing but a garbled mess when they left my mouth.

                “Fine,” Scott abided, “Thank you Derek for helping Stiles.” Scott quickly added, “But talking to you caused this so I will not forget it.”

                “I’m fine so shut up.” I said trying to keep Derek from reacting. I turned my gaze to him to show him to not react while the others piled into the room.

                “So, what were you two talking about?” Lydia asked after a minute of uncomfortable silence.

                “It’s about the change in his status isn’t it?” Scott asked sounding, surprisingly, authoritative.

                “Yes.” Derek replied simply as he gave me a worried glance. He and Scott started helping me to my feet when something in Lydia ticked over.

                “Oh-oh. I’m so sorry Stiles.” At her words the others started looking between the four of them.

                “What’s wrong?” Kira asked immediately. I trust them but not with this, not yet.

                “Nothing.” As the word fell from my mouth the others gave me wide looks. “Nothing you need to know yet.”

I am really hoping Deaton suddenly decided to start mentioning details because if he doesn’t start soon I’ll have someone crush him for me.

I need to figure this out and once I do I’ll find a way to hide it from the others. At least until I know I can trust them, completely.

 

I went through the rest of the day shooting down the pack’s questions and changing the topic when it they brought it up. I tried focusing on school but suddenly the topics seemed irrelevant. If I didn’t have practise then I would just run straight home and curl up in my room to try and grab a hold of myself. Instead I am standing in the middle of a practise drill through of a lacrosse game that I know by heart.

Coach knows my mind is elsewhere but Scott is preventing him from asking any questions.

Tryouts are tomorrow and I am looking forward to seeing our legacy. I am hoping we don’t get stuck with a completely human composition. I know it is weird to admit but without some werewolves I’m more than sure Beacon Hills High’s team will be crushed.

When coach blew that whistle and disbanded us, I was the first person into and out of the locker room. I said a hasty good bye to Scott and asked him to not come over for a few days.

                “I have some things to think over. I’ll talk to you later, maybe.” I said. He is concerned for me but he doesn’t say it nearly as often as he wants to.

When I got home I found dad sitting on the couch, waiting for me.

                “Hey dad.” I said as my brain worked over every possible reason as to why he’s home early as opposed to his usual late nights and early mornings.

The hospital bills and Eichen house payments have been crushing him but we managed a budget to keep us afloat.

                “Sit.” His voice was stiff, cold and emotionless. That means something happened, something a whole lot worse than the supernatural.

I took the seat next to him as I placed my hand onto his arm. He responded immediately by placing his own hand on top of mine.

Something was killing him from the inside and it was doing a damn effective job of it too.

                “What happened?” I asked trying to keep my mouth in control. I always find that it’s harder to control it when my mind is racing a thousand thoughts ahead to the end of the conversation.

                “Derek came by the station today. He showed me a scratch on his back. A scratch that you made a few days ago, doing what exactly?” His voice seemed more like he was trying to not laugh in my face while also trying to contain unnatural amounts of anger.

                “What?! We didn’t do anything! Why would you think that? He has threatened to kill me on more than one occasion.” I said my arms flailing around and I purposely hit my dad a few times before I continued. “Also, he broke in threw my window. I need a new lock for it.”

                “I you say so,” He said shrugging, I waited for his continuation I know is always coming, “I’ll get the lock tomorrow. He stays away from this house and out of your room.”

I groaned and went to my room. I want to know what goes through my Dad’s head at times but right now I don’t want to know what is in his head. I decide to check my email. There’s one from Lydia with the bestiary attached and a message.

_Stiles, do not tell the others. I don’t know how they’ll react but do not tell them until we are certain what you are okay? Good. Come by my house tomorrow and we’ll do some research._

 

It’s nice to know someone besides my dad and Scott actually cares for me. It’s a warming feeling inside like a small fire has been lit in your belly. I decided to scroll down to read the rest.

 

_Bring Derek._

 

I now understand why I counted her as ‘I don’t care’.

Why do I have to bring Derek? It seems like a waste of valuable time bringing Derek. I really hate Derek now.

I wrote down everything I was thinking and without thinking, hit ‘send to all contacts’.

                “You don’t hate me.” Derek said from behind me.

I turned around and flailed my arms like usual to find he was wearing something that wasn’t black or leather. It must be a hallucination. Derek doesn’t wear anything but black and leather.

Derek seemed to notice my sudden fascination with his clothes.

                “Yes it is true that I do not own purely black leather.” The smirk that spread across his face made me sink further into my chair. I have never seen that expression on anyone besides in a mirror when I get a great plan (even though Scott calls them terrible and they all work out).

                “What do you want?” I said warily. My eyes betrayed me and looked into his to see something I haven’t seen in him before. I decide to not guess what it is.

                “I need you to change the colour of this shirt.” His smirk disappeared and that spark in his eyes vanished. “I hate blue. Change it to green.”

My mouth dropped as I started revising his request. “How the hell am I meant to do that?” I almost yelled but contained myself to a yelling whisper.

                “Simple, picture the colour changing slightly, shade by shade into green. Focus on only that and nothing else. Nothing else matters but do try to not shrink the shirt, I have to return it as soon as this is over.”

Through a clenched jaw I did what he asked.

I started focusing on a relaxing thought, strawberry ice-cream. It’s my favourite type. Then I started focusing on the shirt. I pictured it turning around in my head and with every turn it lost its blue and gained some green. It was a long process to get it to a nice grass green. I unknowingly started smiling about the thought of huge fields of green grass that are cut so perfectly that they put diamonds to shame.

I lose focus when Derek starts to throttle me.

                “Stiles,” He said still shaking me, “stop thinking about grass!”

I opened my eyes to see the most wonderful sight. The shirt was grass green but was now made of grass. That severely narrowed down the options to a few possibilities. I am either a fairy, fae or part of something undiscovered. Personally, I want to be a fairy because then I get wings.

                “Nice tunic.” I commented suddenly feeling very tired. “I think I need a nap.” I yawned.

                “Yeah, I really don’t think you should try that again. Also, you might want to take off your shirt before your wings rip it apart.” At his words my eyes shot open. I ran into the bathroom took off my shirt and saw two huge wings. They looked sort of like a bats with the structure and it seemed more like membrane than muscle. They are a pale blue over the membrane and an ocean blue over the bones. The unfortunate part is that I need to go to school tomorrow to stay on the team and keep my econ up. And what is dad going to think? I have wings now! _Wings!_ I’m so screwed.

                “Stiles, I think you need to calm down.” Derek said slowly moving towards me. I tried to stay as still as possible so I didn’t move my wings.

                “I’m a fairy. God dammit, I’m a _fairy_. Calm isn’t quite possible at the moment.” I almost said trying to keep control. I have wings and I am a fairy. Great, the world just _loves_ me. “What am I going to tell my dad?” I asked praying for an answer. I need an answer for him. I need to know that he won’t turn away from me for this. Everything else was fine because I was still me but this. This isn’t me _this_ is the world of Beacon Hills taking hold of me.

                “You need to calm down right now or you’ll lose control. I’ll call Scott if you want me to.” Derek was keeping his voice down for me.

                “That’s the last thing I want. I don’t want them to see me like this. I was proud, you know? I was proud that me: Stiles Stilinski could survive the world of the supernatural with nothing but Stiles Stilinski. I was hoping this could all just be a mistake, something that’ll blow over. But now? Now the world of Beacon Hills has taken its next victim.” I was hoping I wouldn’t cry but it’s too late for that now. “Now I’m nothing more than another creature for the pack to hunt down and stop. Now I am not Stiles Stilinski.”


	3. Learn, Think and Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles doesn't know how he feels. The pack tries to help but they don't know how to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all for reading again. As of right now I have 115 hits which is just amazing. Please comment if you want something or if you see any mistakes I promise to try and reply within a few days.
> 
> Not all of my updates will be this quick. I'll be taking a long break soon but worry not I shall write over the break and come back with maybe two chapters? No promises on that front. I would very much like to thank Ouranos for giving me advice and supporting my decision. I would also like to thank Stilesfan2 for leaving a Kudos as well as the two guests who left Kudos, it really does mean a lot.
> 
> Please enjoy!

Derek knew he couldn’t convince me otherwise so he left. As he was walking out of the window he looked to me one more time and said,

                “You are Stiles Stilinski. You are pack, family. And nothing will change that.”

His words held me together through the night as I lay on my stomach. My wings relaxed as I started to fall to sleep. They curled into my back as sleep took hold.

Here I am, looking into the heart of the next darkness with nothing beside me. My friends abandoned me when they saw my wings. My dad sent me away. Scott, the one person I thought would help me, looked at me as if I was the next darkness to face. The others stood behind him, even Derek. I pleaded for them to take me back. I pleaded with them to reconsider.

I was drawn back to reality to feel something in me vanish. I felt a part of me empty. No. My nightmare was just that, a nightmare. It can’t. It can’t.

I felt everything around me grow cold and dark. Everything was working against me, everything. They all felt it, I know they did. It is a distinct feeling. Pack leaving is a completely unique feeling, so unique that whoever feels it knows exactly what happened.

                “Stiles!” My dad called from down stairs.

I said nothing.

                “Stiles!” This time it was slightly louder with a little bit of urgency to it. “Stiles!” Was him yelling filling his voice with panic.

I just cried.

He ran up the stairs and bolted to my room. He quickly looked over the scene with something in his eyes that just made my heart break.

                “D-dad.” I asked through sobs. He was instantly holding me in his comforting arms. Whispering into my ears calming words I haven’t heard since my mum died. “Dad.”

                “I’m here Stiles. Shhh. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere this time.” His words settled that fear but there is still something deep in me wrong.

                “It broke, dad. I’m not pack anymore. It broke.” I sobbed into his arm.

                “No school until we sort this out okay. We’ll sort this out okay. We’ll make it work. We always do.” His words gave me comfort.

We sat like that well into the middle of the day. My phone's been going off every few minutes since I woke up.

We broke apart at the sound of knocking at the door. It was frantic and continuous.

                “I’ll be right back okay?” My dad said letting me go slowly. I nodded.

He came back up quickly with the entire pack behind him. I was still sobbing in the corner. I looked to Scott who instantly came to my side and pulled me into a hug.

                “It broke Scott.” I sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”

                “This is not your fault. I promise you that this is not your fault.” Scott said calmly into my ear. The others watched until Kira kneeled next to Scott and put her hand on my knee with a more than sympathetic look on her face. Next to come over was Lydia. Soon the entire pack and dad were sitting around me.

                “We’ll figure this out okay.” Scott said authority and sympathy riddled through his tone.

As soon as I smiled the group hug broke. Scott helped me onto my bed and he sat next to me.

              “He’s a fairy. Probably from his mum.” Lydia said eyes going over my wings. “I don’t know his speciality yet though.” At the blank looks from the others I explained.

                “Fairies have power over their respective elements. The basic four plus light, dark and nature. Fairies can only have one speciality. It always shows in the wings but my wings don’t show just one of the usual signs, they show all of them. It’s impossible.” Explaining it kept my mind off of the reason why I was explaining it.

                “So you’re a combination of them all?” Malia asked with a confused look over her face.

                “Maybe, it has happened before and it does skip generations. The only thing is that it usually shows at birth. Sheriff was Stiles breathing when he was born?”

Dad pulled out his concentration face meaning he was thinking with deadly precision. Then he showed a face that made me drop my mouth open.

                “You don’t remember.” I said gobsmacked. My own father doesn’t remember my birth!

                “I don’t remember your birth but I remember everything else. I remember getting the call. I remember driving to hospital. I remember holding you in my arms for the first time and feeling so happy I could die. But I don’t remember when you came out.” The horrified look on his face also spread to mine. I’m not angry right now, I’m scared.

I looked to Lydia when held a face of complete calm.

                “It’s simple. When a creature is born with enough magical power it sort of overloads the minds of those around it. I looked into my birth and found the same thing. Same as Meredith’s and Kira’s.” She was now focusing on her nails that were perfectly cut and polished.

At that second Derek showed his face from around the corner.

                “Windows.” Was all he said for me to realise why he was looking shell shocked. My eyes burst open as Scott raced around and closed them.

                “How many people saw?” I asked the ramifications surged through my mind.

                “Only one person thought it was supernatural I convinced the rest you were wearing a costume for a supernatural themed party Lydia’s planning on throwing, which reminds me, Lydia? Do you mind?” She nodded reluctantly at first but she quickly changed her expression. I now know what it looks like when an idea is born.

                “You guys can be my advertisement. I want you to all show your costumes around school and around town. Stiles I think I have the perfect shirt for you until we find someone to help you hide your wings.” I let out an audible sigh of relief at her words but then I remembered a few words Derek used.

                “Only one?” I asked looking to Derek. He sighed and let a sophomore walk into the room. “And you are?”

                “Liam Dunbar. He’s part of the team now. He’s pretty good. But he, like the rest of us, should be at school.” Scott’s gaze had an effect on everyone. It compelled people to tell the truth or really elaborate lies. I have been working around that gaze for years and I now consider myself an expert at the field.

                “I saw you guys all rush out of school at once. I thought something was going down, maybe something I could use.”

                “I like you.” I said. “You are a lot more corruptible than these people.” My smile only grew when the others looked either horrified, shell shocked and completely amused. Derek even let out a bark of laughter.

                “Thanks? So, you’re a fairy huh?” It almost felt like a completely normal conversation until Derek growled for some reason. Scott also seemed to be growling at something. The others all seemed to be feeling something as well. So it wasn't just me.

                “I feel something. It’s like… a weird version of the pack.” I said feeling something deep inside my core go sour. I feel like there’s someone outside I need to meet. I need to meet them now. _Now!_

I lunged at the window and instantly started scanning the faces around the street until my eyes fell on someone. I think I recognise her but I need to blink. Once I did she was gone.

                “Mum.” I said absently. “Get my sketch book Scott, Dad my coals.” I sat on the bed and closed my eyes as my pad landed on my knees my Dad placed a coal into my hand and I set to work. My hand worked its way across the paper in front of me with frightening speed and accuracy. I haven’t worked this fast in a while. I’ve always loved drawing, I stopped when mum died but I picked it up again when all of this started up. My book’s got everyone in it. The entire pack and everyone we have fought or seen. Even partial’s are in it. Right now though I am making a portrait of the women I saw. She looked so much like mum that it is scary but she isn’t mum. Her cheek bones were too high and prominent and her eyes too far apart. Her hair was also more grey than Mum’s.

                “It looks like your aunt, but she left California before your mother died.” Dad said looking at the picture. “But those eyes are hers.”

                “She was looking right at me. It was like she saw right through me.” I said as I pictured her standing in the middle of the street with her empty eyes. I felt something so familiar, something more than just family resemblance. It was like… “She’s a fairy also.”

                “Well, it seems we have our source of help. Now all that needs to be done is contact her and throw a party. I think we’ll get through this who else?” Lydia said her confidence forcing a smile on my face. Oh god my face! The bestiary said…

                “Lydia, compact?” I asked hoping what the bestiary said was wrong.

                “Sorry Stiles, it was right.” She said handing the compact over.

I looked at the two, barely visible but growing, horns on my head.

                “Great, I’m going to look like Maleficent with bat wings instead of bird wings. This day just keeps getting better and better.” I retorted. I felt like all of the control of my life just fell away, like someone else had control of who I am and what I do. Well this is my life and it is going to stay that way whether anyone else agrees or not. “Sorry it’s just… I finally understand how Scott felt I guess.”

He nodded to me with a knowing smile.

                “It gets better. Regression to the mean. Nothing can ever truly stay good or bad forever, they must always even out.”

                “When did you get all philosophical?” I asked trying to lighten my own mood. It wasn’t working but it was a nice distraction, even if it was short lived.

                “When my friend decided to try and get me into as much trouble as possible when he got a police scanner. It was much like your sarcasm but only less effective.” We tried at a laugh but they could all feel it. The loss of a pack mate. I feel it too. It’s like a piece of you just dies and there’s nothing you can do to bring it back. It’s all encompassing and it’s impossible to ignore. It eats at you until there’s nothing left but the idea of who you were. And it scares me to think that’s what we’ll become.

                “So Liam, who are you? A loaded question but if you’re going to be in on the supernatural goings of the town we’re going to need more than ‘he followed us to Stiles’ place because he thought he could blackmail us’. And yes I did make a note of what you said. 'Anything I can use' I believe were your words.” I pointed out. Besides I think Scott needs someone to think about since Isaac died. His burns were too great and no matter what we did, it just got worse. He didn’t survive the pain and Scott had to make the call. It haunts him even now to think about it. And it haunts me even more knowing I caused it.

                “Well my dad works at the hospital, my mum’s out of the picture, my best friends Mason and I want to become a teacher. Sorry about the whole blackmail thing. I just need a way to get up in the world and captain of the lacrosse team seems to be my only option.” It was a bland goal but I like it. It keeps me grounded knowing that life continues outside of our little merry-go-lucky group.

                “Cool. Right now you guys need to go to school and put on your masks I don’t want it to actually look like I have wings. Right, Liam, all this is very secretive if you tell anyone then the person who showed you in might also show you to the white light at the end of the tunnel. Got it?” I meant it to be threatening but coming from a fairy it somehow lost all of its initial scariness. Liam did not miss on that fact when he started laughing. Derek showed his fangs and claws. Liam then became rather quiet. “Scott you are to fill him in on your way back to school. Lydia maybe you could get me that shirt tomorrow so I can go to school and pretend this is for a party.” I hoped she hadn’t forgotten.

                “Just call your aunt so I don’t have to throw several in a row. Do you know how much it takes to feed these animals?” She commented as she left the room. Dad was the last to leave after Derek. Derek threw me a weird glance over his shoulder as he left, it makes me concerned for my safety.

                “Dad, can you get that lock for the window today? Also, can you get Scott a key? Thanks!” I called from my room as I got to my computer and started going through the bestiary. I need to get a basic understanding of the powers I need to control. But there is nothing about one like me, absolutely nothing. Maybe I should call Deaton to come over and help explain things. “Dad, I want a guest to come over to explain a few things also, can you cover the windows so I can move around?”

                “Already done. Plus I called Deaton and he said he’d be here in five so put on some proper pants.” He replied from across the hallway.

 

I put on my favourite track suit pants as Dad called the station to say a family matter popped up. He wasn’t lying but he felt sort of guilty.

                “It isn’t lying exactly, it's more like not telling the whole truth.” I tried to comfort him as a knock on the door signified the good doctor’s arrival. But just in case I went up stairs to the bathroom.

                “Where is he?” Deaton asked as Dad closed the door.

                “Right here doc.” I called as I went down the stairs. “Any advice on how to hide these bad boys?” I tried to stay calm because no matter what came out of his mouth it meant I was still doing something. Still trying something.

He let out a low whistle as he looked over my wings. They weren’t very big, maybe about three quarters of a meter. But they were very hard to control considering I don’t know how to yet.

                “I will say that they are a nice pair. Very beautiful. And they are completely baffling. I’m sure you know how… uncommon such an occurrence is to have both a membrane and slight scales over the bones. Uncommon but not unknown. I know a few tricks to controlling them but one requires complete concentration for a long period of time so I’m not going to bother with that version. Another requires more patience than I believe even I possess so that leaves the natural option. We’ll need a large open space for this and plenty of time. I won’t be able to do it today I’m afraid but I am sure we can get in in tomorrow after school. Also, they will break easily so lacrosse is going to be, unfortunately, dangerous. The nerves in your wings are more sensitive than anywhere else because you don’t use them entirely when you fly, you use magic. We’ll get to that but right now you need to really consider dropping lacrosse no matter how good you are, it will still cause pain strong enough to send you into shock. Good day, I’m sorry that I wasn’t of much help.” And with that he left as quickly as he came.

                “Well that was almost a complete waste of time. But at least he wasn’t as cryptic as he usually is.” I said as I turned around and went back to my room. My dad followed me up.

                “Do you need anything?” He asked leaning on the door frame.

When he looks at me there’s something new in his eyes, wariness. He’s wary to look at his own son! He doesn’t want to even look at me! How can I blame him? I don’t even want to look at me now.

                “I’ll be fine dad.” I said looking to his forehead rather than his apprehensive eyes.

 

_I need help. Someone help me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would also like to note that I do not have anyone to read over these so there are bound to be mistakes and issues riddled through the chapters. I will try to pick up on them but I give no promises on that front either.


	4. Work before Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Stiles. He discovers some abilities and something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 235 hits by the time this goes up and I am flabbergasted. Nothing could have prepared me for this. I've spent some time at my Grandma's place and I won't upload for a little while after my next chapter goes up. I took some time to write two chapters. It could have been three. You'll see. Still thank you all for reading and for the five Kudos.
> 
> This entire series is heavily inspired by Cry Havoc by Mneme2434. It is a great read and I find it keeps drawing me back in every time I try to look away. It is very good and I heavily recommend reading it.
> 
> Thanks for reading and please enjoy!

I woke up the next morning and thought about yesterday. Nothing could have prepared me for that and nothing could have prepared me for waking up three inches above my bed.

                “Dad!” I called worriedly. I’m floating now! Great! “Dad!”

He came charging into my room gun at arms when he saw me. He stifled a chuckle and put his gun back under the back of his shirt.

                “When you call my name I expect to see you in some form of danger though I am not entirely sure what I’m looking at here.” He said as he sat on my office chair and took my outstretched arm. He pats it reassuringly as he called Deaton.

                “He’s floating. About three inches. Really? He won’t like that. He won’t like _that_. Don’t you dare… he hung up on me!” He looked at his phone accusingly like the phone was the one to hang up on him.

                “What did he say?” I asked hurriedly trying to remind him of the situation. The blinds were down all around the house but it pays to be cautious.

                “Think about not floating. Let that be who you are but do not let it completely take over. Keep the idea to keep you grounded but make sure to keep your mind open so you can actually fly later on.” Dad said tearing his eyes from the phone and over my wings. It wasn’t as reassuring as he meant it to be but still I closed my eyes.

 

I focused on me and the area around me. I focused on my wings and of the ground beneath me. I told myself to gently let me down. I told my wings to gently let me down and that later on I would use them to more than just float. I promised them. And they responded by letting me down. It was just as soft as I asked for.

 

Dad is now looking at me like I’m the only thing in the world that could ever be interesting.

                “What?” I asked defensively. I may not be human anymore but it doesn’t mean I don’t have an ego that I need to constantly stroke.

                “You were glowing and now you’re not.” He is gobsmacked. I am gobsmacked. We stare at each other for a few minutes before Dad needs to go to work. “I’ll see you tonight. Also Lydia stopped by earlier and left something on the front door.  Bye and don’t get into trouble!” He demanded as he left the house throwing something in behind him. I went down stairs after a major internal debate.

 

There is a small package for me at the bottom of the stairs. I race down and open it. It is a shirt, my size, that looks normal on the front but the back has a large open area, perfect for my wings, and has a zipper leading to it. So I slip into it with minor discomfort and race to a mirror. I look good in it. It is a nice complementing blue that matches my wings. I pull out my phone and texted Lydia to thank her.

 

Lydia: **Don’t thank me yet sweet cheeks! You still need to come to my party and I have the perfect outfit so you better come to my house an hour before the party starts. Now get ready for school, there’s no excuse for missing when you have that shirt!**

 

Me: **Fine. But I blame you if anything happens, like waking up three inches above my bed this morning!**

 

Lydia: **No way! Congrats! I officially dub you cooler than the werewolves. They are so boring and any other types of werewolves are basically the same thing. You on the other hand are new, interesting. That’s it! You’re my new lab rat!**

 

Me: **No! Please spare me! I have not insulted your perfect clothes or outstanding intelligence! Spare me!**

 

Lydia didn’t respond. I am now scared beyond imagining. I pack up everything and get to my Jeep without incident until I start to think about driving with my new wings.

I text Scott to pick me up.

 

He showed up on his bike a few minutes later with a spare helmet.

                “Thanks Scott.” I said climbing onto the back of his bike.

                “Don’t thank me yet. I’m not sure how your wings will affect my handling.” Scott said looking pointedly at his wings.

A few people were staring at us but we just went to school.

When I got to school I got only strange looks and many questions. When Scott took off his helmet I looked at everyone else’s reactions. They ranged from scared to questioning to just plain.

                “What are you too?” A girl asked from my right.

                “We’re examples of what Lydia  expects from her supernaturally themed party tomorrow night. It is tomorrow night right?” I asked Scott who simply shrugged. He decided to tint his eyes as soon as someone tried to touch his faced. “It took almost all of yesterday to get these right, do not mess them up or you’ll have to deal with Lydia. Trust me, nothing is worth facing that.” I shivered at the thought.

And, from out of nowhere, suddenly Lydia was by my side.

                “Good. Now I expect you to all do better than these guys and gals that I’ve got in my pocket. Come on, get out there and get designing you only have one day to impress me if you want in on my Halloween party.” She threatened. I found myself actually getting into the swing of things during lunch. Handing out tips and coming up with excuses for why no one was to touch my wings. By the end of the day I had four excuses rolling around most stemming from ‘it took two days to build after four days of designing.’ And ‘These are expensive to build. You break it, you pay for repairs.’ To say the least, the day was… eventful. I handed in a doctor’s note Scott’s mum, Melissa, got to excuse me from the lacrosse team. I put up a nice charade for not wanting to leave and Liam even gave me props for the performance. I’m starting to like him. I’ve decided to put him and Scott together for them. They’re both broken right now but I know they can help each other, especially if Liam does **not** accept the bite.

                “That is my only demand. He is not to be bitten or changed into a supernatural creature of any kind. If that changes due to outside circumstances then by all means keep him in but I will not let any of **you** change him.” I said pointedly at Scott and Derek (He isn’t an Alpha anymore but if there is another way to change someone, he knows it).

 

We are at the newly rebuilt Hale Family House. Well it’s more of a mansion now thanks to Peter and Derek selling a heck of a lot of stuff to rebuild it. Well, Derek did it all as Peter’s things became his after Peter ‘died’. It was a huge mess but right now the world thinks Peter’s dead but as long as Scott has his way the old wolf lives. I just really want a new bat, maybe a mountain ash one this time. Or titanium? I’ll decide before I leave for university.

 

                “Scott won’t bite him and I can’t change anyone anymore. Even through… other methods.” He coughed. “Any way, when is Deaton going to get here?” It’s a basic diversion to get me off his tail, it doesn’t work but I’m wondering as well.

                “He said this afternoon but I don’t know.” I answered looking down at my phone.

                “I’m right here you just weren’t looking.” He said coming out of the shadows. _Seriously_ , was it just a rule for werewolves to _always_ have a dark spot in their houses?!

                “Yes. It’s for defensive purposes mainly.” He said as if he didn’t just **read my mind!**

                “Of course you can read minds.” I blurted out as everyone looked to me with confusion and amusement on their faces, “Of course I could have just said it, except I didn’t, right?”

                “It’s natural for fairies to say what they are thinking. Most have it under control but I imagine your ADHD is having a few… issues when combined with magic of this kind.” Deaton answered in that way that explains **nothing!**

                “Aren’t you here to teach me?” I tried to move the conversation back to the issue at hand and to also distract from my reddening face.

                “I am. They’re here for morale support I assume.” He asked. I answered with a slight inclination of my head not trusting my mouth. “Very good. You’re going to need it. Also, you might get some depressing thoughts. They are going to happen for the next few weeks and I will operate under the assumption that they have already started.” I nodded slightly suddenly feeling a little hollow inside. “Look at me. Look at me.” He ordered. I did as he asked. “No matter what you cannot give into those thoughts. They will haunt you and torment you and turn everything against you everything. Even the Nogitsune. It will use it all as ammunition against you. You have to make peace with all of it or you will never be able to gain complete control. I expect this to take a month to get under control I also expect you to drop everything for this. And I mean everything from family to school. You will not see your friends for long periods and eat roughly around the same time but you’ll be fine. Your friends will never leave you as long as you never leave them.”

                “But I already have. The link’s broken, it shattered like glass.” I pleaded with fog in my eyes and emotions pouring out of my eyes affecting everybody. Even Derek reacted, almost as strongly as Scott surprisingly.

                “The link didn’t break, it’s still there and it can be mended. Derek knows why and how but you all must find out on your own. It is not his secret to tell and it certainly isn’t mine.” Deaton continued. “We must go now. Take everything you need with you but leave everything electronic behind. We are going somewhere few will find us. You’ll keep up with school through me. Nothing else will distract you, nothing.” And with his words I got up and pulled everybody into a long goodbye hug leaving Scott with the saddest of hugs we’ve ever shared. We’ve never been apart for long since we met in the sandbox when we were kids. Never. Nothing separated us, not even the death of my mum and Scott’s dad’s leaving. We would always spend time together and heal together. This was going to put a huge wrench in that. It’s going to test to see if we really are best friends in the whole world.

 

Deaton and I walked out the front door and into the preserve with the entire pack howling behind us I said goodbye to my dad earlier, it was so much worse than this. But I kept walking behind Deaton until he stopped at the edge of the woods.

                “You’re going to walk us forward. You are going to guide us to a place only you and I will know. The crucial part to getting there is in getting lost. So, you go first.” He commented.

Not questioning his logic I took the first few steps into the woods and walked in whichever direction I fancied. We walked here there and everywhere, passing the Nemeton several times. I gave up on wandering around when we came upon it again.

I let out a howl of frustration but decided to try something. I went over and sat on top of the Nemeton. Crossed my legs and closed my eyes and let it drift. I drew, in my mind, the perfect place to learn and train about how to be everything I was. I made this place perfect with a stream and flowers and a tree stump. It had a few boulders lying around, a small hut and perfect trees encasing the area. It was a slice of my perfect paradise. Before I knew it my legs were moving but I was too busy picturing this place to care about anything else. I let my legs carry me to this place of dreams.

 

When I stopped and opened my eyes it was exactly how I pictured it. The area was perfectly how I wanted it to be.

                “Intriguing. You created this place by the way. You pictured it in your mind and found a place far enough away for you magic to make this place. It is definitely what I would call a place for a Stilinski.” Deaton remarked as he took our bags and placed them inside the small hut. It was larger than I expected it to be. It had two bedrooms both with what is needed for each of them. My room had a television for my off days but Deaton quickly took it apart and threw it into the forest of oak and gum trees  that surrounded us.  The hut was made of what looked like bamboo but I knew nothing here was made of anything. I made it in my mind and that means it doesn’t physically exist.

                “It is all real Stiles you made it real. You made this all physical.” Deaton said after popping up behind me.

I looked at him sceptically but he didn’t look differential.

                “Don’t doubt your new abilities. They can do amazing things, if you let them.” He said again not letting his expression fall from anything beyond serious.

                “How do you know what I’m thinking? I don’t remember saying anything and you always know what I’m thinking.” I asked turning to face him with my best inquisitive gaze.

                “You’ll see. But first, time to teach you control over your wings. By the time I’m done with you you’ll be flying all over town. But first we need to make you ready for that party. That will be the last bit of social interaction you’ll be getting in a long while. Also, don’t let anyone touch your wings in a meaningful way. It is considered the most insulting thing you can do to a fairy if you touch their wings without mutual consent. It can lead to dangerous results for the person if you do not return the gesture in a similar fashion. It is more or less equal to a passionate kiss on the lips. Either way, do not let it occur.” He warned. I think there are just too many rules in this world of ours. So many things you need to be mindful of and so many things you can forget to be mindful of. “Not if you know how to remember.”

                “You know, I’m not even going to question it anymore.” I commented still trying to figure it out while trying to just go along with it. If he can read my mind then I’ll make him regret it. I wonder about what’s going to happen at the party. I quickly drew from TV and my own imagination to create something I think the party would turn into, eventually.

                “Don’t do that anymore. You have the power to change things Stiles, that power over destiny is not something to trifle with. Especially if the only reason is to keep your mind to yourself. If you ever encounter another fairy they will know what you are thinking and will be able to even communicate with you in your mind. It can be playful or it can be disastrous. Few things are that dangerous or pleasant. Do not take this warning lightly.” It took longer than I think it should have to realise that his mouth had been closed almost the entire time he was talking.

I knew what I had to do. I went over to the stump and sat on it, cross legged like before and started feeling my muscles. Controlling them individually. It should have taken years for mastery like this but I was always a little too fast for history to take precedent into account.

Soon I was feeling the muscles along my back until I came across the ones controlling my wings. I slowly and safely started trying to move and control my wings. It was a slow process but I got a handle on them eventually. Moving them to the beat of my breaths, to the beat of my heart. I kept my body in complete rhythmic balance. Then I felt something, something trying to break this balance, trying to disturb the flow I had created. I carefully probed this new thing with my mind being mindful that it could be very dangerous. It seemed harmless but I wasn’t making the mistake of letting another creature into my mind so I pulled away and drove myself towards conscious thought to ask Deaton when I recognised a familiar feeling in my mind. I quickly pulled out of the trance and set up my defences thinking purely on one thing whether it is something I hated or liked, the strongest defence had always been Derek’s face. It always seemed to hold back the Nogitsune a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do tell me if there are any mistakes in the text and I will fix it to the best of my abilities.


	5. The Long Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles goes to Lydia's party and something happens (Doesn't something always happen?).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading. This one went straight up after the last one. So any suggestions that may have been made might not happen :( . I do want to take all views into consideration but some things must happen for the story to end where I want it to and this, unfortunately, must happen for that to occur. Getting to the designated point is going to take a bit but I don't know how many chapters until we reach the ending.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and please enjoy!

Whenever something goes off in my mind I always put all my focus onto Derek’s face. It always helps me stay in control for just a little longer. Long enough to whisper out, “The Nogitsune is attacking again. Help.” To Deaton. I just hope he heard me.

                “Hello Stiles. Thank you for taking me back in again. I still have a promise to keep after all. I still have to make you kill them, Stiles. We’re going to kill _all_ of them. All of those you hold so dear.” It taunted me as it circled my mind in such a familiar manner. It moved in such a manner that I almost spat on the ground at its feet but making it mad is never a good idea.

                “You again hey. I thought we buried you under the Nemeton. I thought you were trapped.” I spat out. I need an explanation.

                “You did but then you came back. You sat right above me and opened your mind to me. You let me in again. I took the change to leave that prison again. Thank you for freeing me again Stiles.” It said much to my distain. It was like poison in my mind.

                “Stiles. You must know that he is still imprisoned in a container far away in Egypt. This is just your mind Stiles. Everything here is just in your mind. Nothing here is physical unless you want it to be. You have the power Stiles, you have complete control over everything here.” Deaton tried calm me down but if this is all in my mind then so is Deaton.

                “He’s lying, Stiles. I’m real. What we’re going to do together is real. We’re going to kill them _all_. _You’re_ going to kill them Stiles. _You’re_ going to live up to my promise.” It hissed moving ungracefully towards me.

                “No. No. We dealt with you. You are nothing. Nothing!” I accused feeling panic wrap its hands around me. I felt fear grip through me. It was crushing my chest.

 

Suddenly I found myself on the tree trunk wrapped into someone’s while I am chest barely breathing. It wasn’t Deaton, he is not this buff. Whoever it is they are keeping me from blowing up like Chernobyl. I feel calm and _safe_ in his arms. I feel stronger than I have in a long while. I try to match our breaths. I try to match our heart beats. Most of all I try to figure out who it is. Not even dad has been able to make me feel like this in a long while.

Once I feel okay enough I push away slightly, making no move to leave these arms, but just enough to see Derek’s worried face stare down at me.

 _Of course_ , I thought, _who else?_

I pushed myself back into his chest as he emanated a soft growl in his chest, almost like a purr.

 

                “How did you find me?” I asked thinking back to how Deaton said the others wouldn’t be able to.

                “I always know where you are. I can’t not know where you are at all times.” He explained without explaining. I am getting annoyed at how much people do that. “I felt you in distress and came as fast as I could. Everyone else got lost or couldn’t pass into here. There’s something wrong with this place. Something that feels wholly unnatural.”

                “I made it. I sat on the Nemeton and made this place. Only for me and Deaton. And someone else. Something else. It followed me Derek. It followed me and it’s back. Hiding in my mind again. I can’t do that again. I can’t.” I started sobbing into his chest. “I can’t handle going through that again. I can’t. I won’t be responsible for any more deaths. I refuse.” I had a semblance of strength but it was mostly fear. Pure, unfiltered fear of the Nogitsune. Of death.

                “You won’t I swear. I promise we will figure this all out. I promise to you that we’ll figure this all out.” Derek swore to me as he stroked my sides. I had a feeling he wanted to stroke my back but that’s where my wings are now. God, I’ll never get used to it (I probably will but still). His grip and hold over me was comforting in a deep way. A way I couldn’t explain if anyone asked me to. It was almost a primal level of contentment just being protected from the world by his arms.

                “Where’s Deaton?” I asked as I searched the area with my eyes wildly.

                “I’m here, don’t worry. I’m outside the camp. Do you want me to let the others in?” He asked in my mind, which is going to be _really_ creepy as soon as I have the time to process the information.

                “Yeah let them in. I want to see them. All of them, even Liam, if he’s there.” I said as Derek looked at me like a madman. “He can literally read my mind.” I explained just adding to his confusion.

When the others entered the clearing Derek made a movement to want to let go so I just pulled him closer motioning for Scott to come closer.

                “Hey man, you okay?” He asked the worry practically dripping from his voice.

                “No. No, I’m so not okay right now. Right now I need my best friend and Derek to give me hugs.” I said voice shaking slightly. Liam looked really uncomfortable. “Don’t worry Liam, Scott’s all yours.” They both went a light strawberry pick while the others giggled and looked between the two of them. I just motioned for Scott to come closer. “It’s back Scott. It’s back.”

                “No it’s not Stiles. Nothing you saw was real, right now where do you think we are? In that place, surrounded by oak trees and bamboo. No. We’re still in the clearing. You’re still on the Nemeton. You couldn’t go any further. Your thoughts kept bringing you back here to deal with your darkest thoughts. Your fears and emotions. Any and all of them.” His words unsettled me to a profound degree. I looked around hard to see markings of the clearing.

 

I closed my eyes, steadied myself and began thinking again. Focusing not on me but on my surroundings, moving my mind back to the clearing, back to my body. I brought myself back together, through mountains and valleys. I opened my eyes to see I was back in the clearing. With everyone’s eyes trained on me.

                “What happened?” I asked nervously.

                “I think we just watched your mind walk back into your body.” Deaton remarked looking like a kid in a candy store. The thought did not comfort me. I rested my eyes on Derek who looked as if an angel had just given him a thousand more years to live.

                “What?” I asked Derek this time.

He just shook his head slowly as a smile grew across his face. It was that heart-warming smile that he rarely used if ever. I have only seen him use it once, when he saw Cora again after so long. It made my heart flutter then and it had the same affect now. I looked away slightly as I felt my cheeks burn. Why am I having this reaction to _Derek Hale_? The same _Derek Hale_ who, on multiple, occasions had threatened me with death, tried to hurt my best friend and had helped in ruining the lives of everyone around me. The same _Derek Hale_ who’s smiles made my heart jump, whose words hit deep, who’s body sent shivers up my spine. _Derek Hale_. My conundrum. Except this isn’t my conundrum as I just realised Deaton can read my mind and I now have a lose tongue due to my magic going haywire.

                “I’m going to stop thinking now before I die of complete embarrassment.” I said lying back also leading to the sudden realisation that my wings have suddenly slipped onto my back, not hurting at all when I put pressure on them. It was so I could look at the stars not all of the people now staring between myself and Derek. Also so I could _not_ hear Lydia mutter ‘finally’ under her breath to Malia. The same Malia who had broken up with Stiles, me, because of some reason only Lydia and she knew.

 

Out of everything I was feeling and hearing all I heard was someone moving to sit next to me on the stump. I looked to my side to see Derek sitting there, _my Derek_. A single thought went through me as I looked into his eyes. So I went to do it but before I could another pair of lips was already on mine. They were warm and powerful and perfect because they were Derek’s. When he pulled away there was nothing I could do but smile. The darkness facing me, surrounding my very being suddenly ran away. It all fled right then and there because of him, because of _my Derek_.

 

_I found help._

 

That night I slept in the preserve. Under the night sky that rested above me. Next to Derek. We just slept there content beyond all knowing. The others all went home. All resting and thinking and being happy. Scott drove Liam home, I took some pride in that. Lydia and Malia went out for a girl’s night out. Kira was dragged home kicking and screaming away from the girl’s night by her mother. Deaton went back to his clinic already giving up on the idea of keeping me from any distractions. There was no way I was not going to try and sneak out to see Derek. No way in hell.

 

The next morning I found Lydia had left another of these shirts on the door step. My wings had opened out this morning as I was walking with Derek out of the preserve. While we were walking back to my house he fully changed showing his beta form. It scared some people but most people already knew about Lydia’s party. Everyone knows when she throws a party. Even when everyone thinks she’s insane she still throws the best parties in Beacon County.

 

She left my costume for the night there too. I almost threw up at the design. I read a text she just sent me.

 

Lydia: **If you get Derek I get to embarrass you another way, got it! No complaints. How did last night go?! If you don’t answer I’ll make you wear peach!**

 

Me: **Perfectly. Now please spare me! I’ll die if I have to wear peach!**

 

I could feel her maniacal laugh shake the very fabric of good and evil. I’m sure everyone felt it.

 

Lydia: **Trust me, you’d kill it in peach but if you’d prefer otherwise. Also, you’d better go with Derek or I’ll have to stop the rumours I’m spreading. I will not allow for my rumours to be wrong, you got that?**

 

It was phrased as a question but I can read.

 

Me: **Yes ma’am. Of course ma’am.**

 

Like hell I would go against Lydia, except if she tried to get me into peach. Green was bad enough. I look terrible in green. I went inside only to be hugged out of breath by my Dad.

                “Hey Dad.” I huffed out patting him on the back, the universal sign for surrender. “Can’t… breath… let… go…”

                “Oh, sorry son.” He said slightly letting up. Giving me enough room to inhale to prevent loss of consciousness. “What are you doing here? I thought you were staying somewhere no one would be able to find you?”

                “I was going to but a few things happened.” I said my good mood obliterated in seconds.

Dad closed the door behind my wings. I went over and cleared the coffee table. “Sit. Watch.” I ordered.

I sat on the table and crossed my legs and closed my eyes. Focusing on my muscles, moving each of them individually as I slowly made my way to my wings. Slowly I gained control over them. I opened my eyes and I was back at the place my mind went to. Surrounded by bamboo and oak trees. And he was there waiting for me. I closed my eyes immediately focusing on my home. My Dad and Derek. Everyone that needs me to be home and I used them to anchor me. I used _Derek_ to _anchor_ me. I used my memory of him to bring me back.

I opened my eyes to see my dad with concern all but dripping from his face.

                “What did you see?” I asked to use to that face to let it phase me anymore.

                “I saw you glow and cry. What’s going on?” He asked exactly the wrong question.

                “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. I don’t understand anything and it’s making me angry.” I blew. “I don’t know what Aunt has to do with anything. I don’t understand why I only now got my wings. I don’t understand what the Nogitsune is doing back in my head. I don’t understand what I’m feeling for Derek and it scares me! I like him but I don’t know if it’s me or that thing messing with me! And I’m scared.” I pleaded with my eyes for Dad to just solve everything like always. I want him to make it all right. I want him to help me. To fix it all.

 

But he didn’t. He looked as lost as I was. He looked confused and angry and sad and… disappointed. He was disappointed at me! For what! I tried everything to piece it all together I tried to relax and calm down but nothing came together nothing! I focused on every piece and it just… It didn’t work. Everything my Dad taught me came up to naught. Everything I learned from him to be patient and relax and to know it’ll all come together eventually but it just wasn’t and it was breaking me.

He looked at me with all of his emotions laid bare and hugged me. And it worked. Just like always.

 

Derek came by to pick me up for school later. I got into the car as Dad got into his. I gave Derek a quick goodbye kiss when we got to school. The look in his eyes of complete contentment. Nothing short of Scott dragging him from the car broke that moment, not even the school bell ringing in the background.

I got through school barely. People were asking me questions all day. I had Malia, Kira and Liam as a small protective detail for my wings during lunch and from between classes. It was a hassle but they did it for me and I wasn’t about to reject that offer. Especially since his wings started feeling pain whenever someone touched them. Objects were fine but people were not going anywhere near my wings. Not even Scott, which made him a little sad.

                “It’s just. It’s intimate.” I supplied as we made our way to Lydia’s to help with the setup. The entire pack was there helping out as well as Liam.

                “Really? How do you know that?” Scott asked. He usually never asked questions like that. Ever.

                “I don’t really know how I know that. I just do. I guess it’s like my instincts.” I suggested offering a shrug as well.

 

Lydia’s house is amazingly decorated with all of the most amazing things. Tombs and blood and guts and skeletons and everything just lazing around the front of the place. Her house was like a maze, one wrong turn and your lost. I was smarter than most and had made a map of the place the first time I visited. It has been updated since then. Then I just moved over to the latest blueprints of the place. She had decorated every inch of the place with small things all over the place.

 

To be honest, I wasn’t expecting this many Draculas to show up but I mean _come on_! He is the most clichéd monster to choose from and those werewolves, _ugh_. I know how the others feel as soon as I see someone in a fairy costume. I immediately feel insulted beyond patience.

But I was watching from outside waiting for a particular Camaro to drive up. I only had to wait a minute before it showed up. A few moments later _my_ werewolf was by my side as we made our entrance. Lydia forced me into a green, nature shirt, and some ocean blue jeans. Derek was wearing black jeans, as usual, but he was wearing a torn up black shirt under a ripped black leather jacket. He had fake blood mixed into his sideburns.

                “You certainly went all out.” I commented as we made our way through the front door.

                “Says the person who went through hell to learn how to control his wings for a high school cover story.” He retorted playfully.

                “I’m going to have fun with this.” I said hoping to catch the light perfectly. From the glint in Derek’s eye I accomplished my mission and returned to dragging him through the hordes of teens.

 

No one was drunk yet when Lydia decided to make her entrance.

The DJ stopped and pointed to the stairs. All eyes followed to a white faced Lydia. She looked thin and frail. He white flowing dress promised more than it could deliver with the hidden white stretches keeping them in control. He dress was thin and layered. She was wearing paling make up and as soon as she was at the first landing she let out a great scream. Not one of pain or anything. One of pure joy and wildness and at that everything kicked into full swing. Alcohol in the punch and drunk teens everywhere. The pack had a difficult time controlling the masses for a little while but then decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Derek and I made our way to the pool where the groups of drunken sports players were being idiots. Remembering what happened the last time they did stuff like that, Scott and Liam were forced, by Lydia, to rein them into a semblance of control.

 

When I found myself alone from the pack I knew something was going on, Derek had been by my side the entire evening, he wouldn’t leave my side for just any reason. I worked my way inside to find them almost at blows with the lacrosse and swimming teams.

                “Hey, what’s going on?” I demanded from Derek.

                “They want to test your wings to see if they’re real.” He supplied not letting any of them past him.

                “They’re not real but there are sensory attachments that could send me into shock if they break. If you break the wings you could really… Ahhh!” I fell to the floor in a swirl of pain at the feeling of my wings breaking. Someone had broken one of the main bones along the top of my right wing. I would have yelled, screamed, anything but I could barely manage to keep breathing. The pain was unlike anything else I had felt before. It was unreal.

                “What did you just do!” Derek barked at a drunken mess with a bat in his hands. He was at my side urging me to not move. Soon the entire pack was around me all moving me to a suitably large area.

                “Out! Now!” Lydia demanded. “Or I call the cops!” At that they all ran.

                “Stiles, we’re going to try and take your pain, just hold on.” Derek said softly kneeling next to my face from where they placed me on the coffee table.

                “No.” I managed. “Too… much… for… you.” I tried concern for Derek outweighing my own self-preservation needs.

I tried to stop them but they were already at work draining my pain. It didn’t take long before they were all tapped out so I stopped them before it went too far. It was a long night until Melissa, Deaton, Dad and Liam’s dad got there.

Someone must have filled him in because he avoided Liam’s gaze as he gave me some pain meds.

                “Talk… to… him. You’ll… regret… not.” I tried before Derek and dad stopped me.

He just nodded with something in his eyes, something new. Deaton was working carefully with Melissa and Liam’s dad to put a splinter on my wing and try to fix the appendage. “Hale… House… only… safe… until… healed.” I stopped myself before anyone else dare.

                “Okay.” Dad said simply.

I was feeling weak and I’m not sure I was completely conscious during the trip to Derek’s place. The pain going through me was numbed but still as sharp as a knife, a butter knife but still. Even through that I could feel Derek’s arms keeping me steady as I moved. I remember being cuddled into his chest during the trip. I remember his arms fighting away the darkness for me. I remember him taking my pain as well. I had to stop him three times to keep him safe.

                “No… more. Pain… needed. Helps… remember… self.” I tried through raps of painful breaths.

                “I won’t let you suffer. I won’t. I refuse to let you be hurt and let me be fine. Now shut up and get some rest.” Derek demanded pulling me further into his chest so I could hear his calming heartbeat.

                “Cheater.” I accused as I feel into a slight sleep. The light rumble of a car trying to keep me awake. While Derek’s pulse pulled me into sleep.

 

I dreamt of Derek. _My Derek_.

 

I woke up facing a strong chest. I am wrapped in two arms holding me calmingly. I recognised it as Derek so I pushed myself further onto his chest. His arms stated moving up and down my sides.

                “My wings?” I asked afraid. I know I don’t like them but they’re still part of me now. Losing them would be… I don’t know. I’ve never lost something that way before. The thoughts dragged me to somewhere I didn’t want to be, but, like usual, Derek pulled me out of the darkness.

                “They’re going to be fine. You’re whole. And as long as I’m here, you’ll stay that way.” His words gave me comfort like nothing else could even possibly attempt to.

                “But nothing can protect him from us. He wouldn’t hurt us if we tried to kill him. He wouldn’t hurt _you_ if _you_ tried to kill him.” The Nogitsune said walking into the room.

                “No. It’s back Derek.” I panicked. I can’t deal with it this time. I can’t. It’s too strong. I can’t do this alone, not again. I can’t beat it.

                “Hey, Stiles. Hey. You can do this.” He reassured me pulling me away so he can look me in the eyes. “You can do this because I’ll be right here. Right next to you. Always.” I looked into his eyes and turned to the Nogitsune with a new determination to kill it this time.

 

I closed my eyes and focused on it. I focused on its past, its present and its future. I focused on what made the creature and I denied it. I said no to its very being. I removed it from my mind and cast it back into the darkness. I trapped the creature in nothingness. Hidden so far from existence that nothing would find it.

 

I opened my eyes and I was back at my hut. I was on the tree stump facing Derek and the Nogitsune. They were standing next to each other. Slowly everyone walked into the clearing. One after the other and stood next to the creature. I pleaded with them to turn, to run, to leave, anything! But they did nothing but look at me like I was the Nogitsune.

                “You can’t get rid of me Stiles! I‘m a thousand years old! You can’t kill me!” It shouted in my voice. It used me against me. As it unwrapped the covers over its face, yet more people walked into the clearing. All of them looking at me like I was something to be destroyed.

                “Please.” I pleaded to Derek then to Scott then to Dad but they did nothing.

It walked forward and uncovered its face showing mine looking back at me. It took my form last time but it’s not something that you get used to. It looked at me with my eyes but there was something darker in them, something wrong with them. It was not like last time. This time they were with it and not me. They were on its side. They abandoned me. All of them. They left me to face it. To face the next darkness alone. So I will. I will prove I am who I am by killing the next threat. I will kill it, the darkness. I will do it for them, for _Derek_.

 

No, no this isn’t real. I looked down and counted my fingers, all twelve of them. This is a dream. A dream. It’s not real.

                “Wake up.” I said to myself. “Wake up.” I said louder this time. “Wake up. Wake up. Wake up!  Wake up!” I started shouting it at myself. A chant to bring me back.

I closed my eyes shouted it once more.

                “Wake up!”

                “Stiles!” Derek shouted shaking me.

I woke up screaming. He held me to his chest demanding for my silence and for me to calm down. It’s back. In my head or not, it’s back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written one this long before and I might do it again if you all like it.
> 
> Please leave some suggestions for something that you want to happen. This isn't just my experience, it's yours too.


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